Ok.. I have come to the conclusion I could never be a stripper. After numerous requests for a private lap dance, I decided I would learn the art of a strip tease. I started my journey by purchasing Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobics - Lesson 1. Uh huh... Lesson 1 my ass. I think I got the hips down. Although that has never been a problem... Everything else however - not so good! I don't know if I am just completely not coordinated or if it's because I feel like a complete fool - but I know my body moving in no way resembled the girls on the dvd. And lesson one!?! I can't imagine what the advance lessons get into! I was thrusting, swaying, crawling and leg spreading... I've decided to stick with it for a bit longer, after all - tonight was the first day I even looked at the DVD since it arrived on Friday. Anyways, as much as I'd like to master the art of the lap dance - I think this just may not be in my cards. I'll keep all posted on my progress. Thank god for pause and rewinds!

In other news... Mr. Manhattan was in town this weekend. Things are getting harder and harder with the distance and our relationship. We've been dating for nine months now and it's tough. I have to wonder at what point will things change. Understandably it doesn't appear he'll be moving to FL anytime soon and I equally have no desire to move up north... again. I just don't know what to do. I wonder if I want to be with him and truly think my future lies with him - shouldn't I be dying to live with him in NY? At what point is it "sane" to make that move. Last time, I waited until I was married. Never again. When is it too soon to move it and stop the long distance? Is there a "proper" time frame? Or is it up to the people involved and intensity of the relationship?

I don't know. I wish I had the answers. I just know that I am not ready to move right now.

Otherwise, the weekend was great. Took his nephew to see the mouse and hung out. With all the rain out there, we spent alot of time just hanging out at home. Quite welcome, as we rarely have quality alone time. Every weekend he is down, it's spent visitng friends and family. I feel bad for him because I realize I put alot of pressure on him to spend time with me. I don't regret it - as it's normal to want to spend time with the person you're dating, right?

Back to work tomorrow. Ugh. I keep changing my mind on whether I like the new position or not. Some days I think it's great and I am psyched. I'll refer to this as my motivational mood. I think the job is going to be great and lead to wonderful things. Other days... not so much; I regret leaving my old department and my decision to decline the position in Boca.

Got Net's wedding invitation yesterday. Don't know what to do. Obviously a big part of me realizes we have been friends for a LONG time and should attend. On another note, we haven't talked since her engagement (Dec.) and haven't hung out since Oct. After our long "our friendship is based on conveinence" talk - things are just weird between us. I feel like an idiot going to her wedding after declining her request to be her maid of honor, etc. Any suggestions? Should I just suck it up, let the past stay in the pass and go? Or follow my gut?

Anyways... It's late and I have to wake up early tomorrow. Not to mention I have to drive to Miami tomorrow night and need to be well rested.

Good night to all!